Talking to Children “Like Children” Is Not Good

On Fox News this morning there was a brief segment about a six year old girl who won a spelling bee and qualified for finals. She is the youngest person to qualify, no surprise from a girl who began reading at the age of two. Her mother describes her as a teenager in a six year old body.

I have always had the theory that we raise children to be just as bright or just as dumb as they seem to be, based on how we interact with them, and as it turns out – it’s true! Now obviously, there are going to be unique circumstances and no two children are alike, but think about this:

When a mom walks up to a group of friends with a small, adorable, googly eyed little baby, all of the adults immediately drop down to the level of the small child. Even the most masculine of tuff, macho, manly men will coo, say cutesy little things, and talk in a silly sounding, high pitched voice.

Although it is acceptable and normal with infants, I do feel that it is sort of silly. A small baby is easily amused, and of course they need this kind of activity, and feelings of love and closeness from family, but I feel it should be very limited. I also feel like the way we “talk down” to children lasts far too long after infancy.

Studies suggest that talking to children “like chilredn” can actually be harmful to their ability to express themselves later on in life. According to Peter Ernest Haiman, Ph.D.:

When parents talk to their infants, toddlers, and preschoolers, they should use complex sentences. Complex sentences have adverbs, adjectives, and modifying phrases and clauses. Rather than “bring me your shirt,” say “bring me your red shirt.” Rather than saying, “Mommy is coming,” say “Mommy will come as soon as she dries her hands.”

The optimum development of language is fostered if parents use complete and complex sentence structures when interacting with their children during their first five or six years of life. Numerous studies that focused on the language development of children have consistently demonstrated that how parents talk to their youngsters shapes the children’s language and ability to communicate. Language, in turn, shapes thought processes and mental problem solving.

I cannot say how the family of the little girl who won the spelling bee raised her, but I imagine that her creativity and desire to learn was sparked by positive, meaningful interaction from them.